


An Affair to Remember

by Eravalefantasy



Series: Nothing Like the Sun [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 11:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15885468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eravalefantasy/pseuds/Eravalefantasy
Summary: Cullen and Valerie seem to move on different paths, each one just missing the other. A handful of words and a fateful decision will bring the two together.





	An Affair to Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minas_Desk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minas_Desk/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Nothing like the Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4718333) by [Eravalefantasy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eravalefantasy/pseuds/Eravalefantasy). 



> This is a response to a Tumblr ask. I'd skipped over Val and Cullen's first kiss in Nothing Like the Sun, but katnisshawke (Minas_Desk on the Archive) requested their first kiss. 
> 
> What this showed is that I really should go back and revise Nothing Like the Sun.
> 
> Thank you Minas_Desk for the prompt and the chance to revisit these two once again.

A handful of words changed everything between them.

_I care for you, too._

Standing so close to him, she uttered those words in a whisper despite the privacy of her quarters. He’d said nothing more, unsure if she expected a response. He’d stood in this place before. Declarations in the dark changed to the comfortable guise of friendship in the daylight, and he nothing more than a convenience.

 _Excuses_ , he thought, _convenient lies meant to ignore what you expressed weeks ago._

Cullen’s heavy footfalls on the stairs carried the weight of resignation. “You told her nothing you fool, and this is the result.”  Propriety dictated he vacate Valerie’s quarters. She’d left him with a flashed smile, but her disappointment in his refusal to join her burned in his chest like a fresh wound. “You owe her more than what you offered.” Cullen felt the spot on his cheek where her lips had touched him.

He paused on the steps, indecision and confusion filled him with every breath. He repeated his purpose and his promises to the Inquisition. “Ill timing for anything more,” he said to an empty room. “There is no possibility we can,” he stopped his speech as the two halves of his mind argued.

Cullen could wait-remain Commander and a friend. “That would be best.” Even as he descended the first stairwell, Cullen’s heart pushed back.  _Go after her, don’t leave things unsaid._

His sensibility replied. S _he didn’t believe me and then left me waiting alone in the Rest. We are far too different._ Cullen continued to levy the reasons behind his inaction.

The darkness of the second stairwell let his thoughts stray. “I should have torches affixed for her safety.” 

For a moment Cullen laughed, considering Valerie likely gave no thought to the dark. For his distraction, he nearly missed a step in the dark allowing his shoulder to impact the wall. “Enough,” he said shifting on his feet and taking long deep breaths until he balanced body and mind. “Whatever you think is there, this is not the time for such pursuits.”

When Cullen reached the main hall, he realized the late hour from the blazing firepits. Valerie preferred them remain dark until the day’s light had all but left the sky. _She hates the smell of tallow_ , he thought giving his right ear a tug. _It’s pungent; I agree, but some of these concessions we make to keep Val happy._ He sighed closing his eyes and muttered to himself. “For someone with no interest you know quite a bit.”

Cullen surveyed the hall to see who might have heard him and realized for the first time he could recall it lay empty. “Small favors,” he said, grateful no one witnessed his ridiculous behavior. The last thing he needed was someone making connections that didn’t exist.

_You’re doing it again. Pretending you don’t care? Stop lying to yourself and to her._

“Maker’s breath,” he hissed. “Fine. I’ll go.” His hands tightened into fists, trying to build his conviction with each step. All he had to do was admit his feelings, and then…

When he reached the stairs outside, Cullen halted as if a force held him in place. _And then what?_

The voice of one of the night watch pulled Cullen away from his thoughts. “Are you all right, Ser?”

He nodded, forcing a tight-lipped smile, but the look of concern on the man approaching him deserved more. “Lost in thought, forgive me.” Through force of will he engaged the man in conversation. “I noticed the hall quite empty, and I was to meet with the Inquisitor. Did Lady Trevelyan pass this way?”

“Yes, Ser. The Inquisitor and Master Pavus entered the Rest a short time ago. I believe more than a few have decided to take in the evening there.”

 _Master Pavus._ Cullen resisted the urge to roll his eyes; Dorian likely insisted the soldiers address him as such, despite Cullen’s insistence not to interfere. As much as the antics annoyed him, Dorian’s insight would be most welcome. “He’d tell me to talk with her as he had on so many other occasions.”

l-l-l

_“Why Cullen, either you are attempting to throw the match in my favor, or your head is elsewhere.” Dorian leaned slightly forward. “Perhaps a certain distraction?”_

_Cullen ignored the comment, despite the validity of Dorian’s question. He looked forward to the evening and his standing invitation to dine with the Inquisitor. “It’s your move,” he replied instead._

_A light laugh dissolved into a sigh. “No, Cullen. Speaking strictly outside of the game board and into wider and more pleasant topics-it is most definitely your move. Frankly I am at a loss as to how neither of you can seem to talk openly with the other. It’s rather maddening and extremely unsatisfying.”_

_Cullen gripped one chess piece in his hands. “Unsatisfying? I fail to see why my . . . private affairs are anyone’s concern but my own.”_

_Annoyance carried through to the rhythmic tap of Dorian’s fingertips on the game table. “We clearly share a difference of opinion on what constitutes a private affair.” Leaning back in his chair, Dorian’s eyes widened. “Would you grant me an honest opinion, as a friend?”_

_Cullen agreed without hesitation. “Of course, I value your opinion and am more than willing to reciprocate whenever you seek my counsel.”_

_“A simple yes would do, Cullen,” he said raising his hand to stop Cullen from responding. “Someone of my acquaintance lost someone quite dear years ago-a tragic loss,” Dorian began. “Sadly, they have shunned deeper friendships of any kind since then and I am unsure how to help.”_

_“It’s not as simple,” Cullen said, his voice in a half whisper. He knew without doubt Dorian spoke of Jocelyn. “In time, perhaps, but now?” A Templar in Kirkwall, the bond between them moved from admiration to something far deeper. The night the Arishok moved on Kirkwall, she stood guard at the Chantry. Jocelyn died that night._

_The slap of Dorian’s hand on the table toppled the pieces scattering some across the table onto the ground. “You care, I hear it in the conversations. I see it when you meet.”_

_“Dorian, please.”_

_Lowering his voice to give Cullen some privacy, Dorian continued. “Do you not notice how she speaks to you before all others? Have you no concept of how Valerie looks at you? Void take you if you ignore this.”_

l-l-l

  
The icy touch of the mountain air sent a shiver through him, but the warm glow from Herald’s Rest offered Cullen more than a reprieve. Seated somewhere within rested a second chance.

Halfway through the courtyard, his decision halted his steps. To his left, his tower and the anonymity of solitude, but to his right? He could be Commander, friend and more if she allowed. Taking one more moment, Cullen approached the tavern.

Laughter, music and the cacophony of dozens of conversations nearly turned him away. Thankfully he found Valerie near the door, her back facing him. She spoke with Josephine and Cassandra and Cullen waited for a break in the conversation.

It was Josephine who saw him first. “Surprising to see you here Commander, will you join us?”

Cullen held up his hand to decline. “Do you have a moment Val?”

Valerie turned around, concern crossed her face meeting his eyes. “Was there something you needed?”

He leaned in to keep his voice low. “I thought we might talk, alone.”

“Alone? Of course.”

He searched for the perfect opening, a way to broach the subject without sounding like a young boy with a crush. Leading Valerie away they walked up the stairs to the battlements. Her hand gripped his arm. “Cullen? What is it? Is something wrong?”

"Val, I,” he sighed.

“Hey. This is me, remember? Talk to me.”

Cullen gripped the back of his neck with both hands. “You know, Aidan was right, I can’t get out more than just a few words.”

At the mention of her brother, Valerie’s brow furrowed. “Aidan? You talked with Aidan about me? When?”

Cullen moved closer. “Years ago, in Kirkwall. He told me how amazing you were and that I wouldn’t be able to talk without stumbling over my words. It appears. . .well. . .forgive me, I’m not sure where to begin.”

“Maybe we should stop talking about Aidan.”

He nodded, looking away. “I care for you, and yet I am unsure what to say.”

“Why? What’s stopping you?” Val’s hand reached toward his face and then she pulled away. “It’s this war, right? Or it’s me. I’m not like others, I know.”

Relief followed his inhale. _Valerie is as unsure as I, then perhaps we can try?_ Shifting closer, he smiled. “And yet, I am still here.”

She whispered her reply. “I didn’t think it was possible; something was always in the way.”

Cullen caressed her cheek. “Not this time.” Despite the confidence racing through him, Cullen hesitated, resting his forehead against hers. A slight gasp escaped her parted lips, and he smiled. The familiarity of touch surprised him, but Cullen did not stop. Whatever had existed in dreams waited for him now.

The first touch of their lips-brief and gentle necessitated another. It was what he’d wanted, what he’d imagined. She was soft and still met his strength as she answered his kiss with hers. Her hand’s gentle caress against his neck only stopped when she pulled away, her face flushed. Resting her head against his chest, she spoke. “Then you’re sure?”

“I am,” he replied. He’d dreamt of this countless times, and in its realization,  Cullen committed his heart to hers. 

 


End file.
